The Way Globalised Things Are
Clare Richard
Yes, the candle is crying, it mourns over self-melt.
And no, the person is not crying, they were crocodile tears.
Constant combing may lead to severe hairloss,
Constant touches and regular caress will not.
I am your teacher and that is the way globalised things are.
When your mother is looking the other way,
Do not read her diary. No, babies
Are not made on the internet.
Excuses may breed excuses.
An antivirus will always beg for another update.
I am your teacher and that is the way globalised things are.
Yes, old people walk slowly,
Because you’re never there to help them walk faster.
Cookbooks when cooked, will not leave a curry aroma,
Though flawlessly-pretty, a lipstick model may use Picassa.
I am your teacher and that is the way globalised things are.
The coldest aircon heats the earth the most.
When an earring is lost, you can still wear it on your nose.
When a teacher is missing, all are lost.
Today’s celebrated leader is tomorrow’s forgotten history.
The father weeps gently, not his brand new sports car.
I am your teacher and that is the way globalised things are.
Even though you’re short sighted,
It does not mean people are not looking.
A gold tooth will not guarantee a good bite.
The darkest night illuminates the brightest star.
I am your teacher and that is the way globalised things are.
Acne-counting will fail as a unit of currency.
Men work best with secretaries.
A ringgit worth 99 without 1 cent.
A drunk will not appreciate a helmet.
I am your teacher and that is the way globalised things are.
Do not become a preacher unless you know
What your preaches are.
A short speech receives a longer applause.
A joyous scream may kill your lungs.
No holy matrimony awaits a p**n star.
I am your teacher and I am sorry,
That is the way globalised things are.
derived from "The Way Things Are" by Roger Mcgough
